Tagged: Five Things You Don’t Know About Me

I’m it.

Alexander Becker over at WOW has tagged me in the Five Thing You Don’t Know About Me game. Thanks for the tag, Alexander.

So here they are, five things you don’t know about me.

1. Let’s start at the beginning. About one-hour after my birth, I was given up for adoption by my biological mother. Six-days later I was picked up by my adoptive parents. At 23, I searched for and found my biological mother. Six months later I flew to Phoenix to meet Joan and my half-brother, Noah.

At 28 I searched for, found and visited my biological father. He’s a fly-fishing instructor and guide for Orvis. So most of our time together was spent fishing. Fine by me.

Much of the psychological, emotional and energetic healing work I have undertaken in the past 20-years has focused on the many complex issues connected to this event. One of these days I may actually complete the book, Raised By Strangers, An Adoptee’s Search For The Truth, which documents my healing journey into and out from the shadow of adoption.

2. My Virgo nature comes out in full force around dishwashers. I’ve been known to unload two-thirds of a dishwasher just to squeeze in two, maybe three additional plates. My wife teases me mercilessly about my “system” for the silverware tray: Each utensil has its own section, knives in the back left corner, teaspoons middle left, big spoons front left, you get the idea.

Sounds a bit obsessive, I know, but if you try it sometime, you’ll be amazed at how quickly you can unload the silverware tray!

3. I spent 7-months working with Jean Leidloff, the author of The Continuum Concept (aff). We were writing a parenting book that would have followed-up and expanded on the ideas in the Continuum Concept.

The book was never published – that’s another story – so I never got paid since I was working on a percentage basis. (Silly me!). But even without the money, I am extremely grateful for the time I spent with her and the information I learned.

4. In 1983-4, my sophomore year at Syracuse University, I was a member of the cheerleading squad. It was pretty incredible doing back-flips in the end-zone of the Carrier Dome in front of 50,000 people after SU scored a touchdown, or walking around with beautiful women standing on my shoulders during a basketball time out.

5. When my daughter required 5-days of care in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) immediately after she was born, I dropped everything and spent most of my time there with her. There was no way I was going to let her stay isolated in that plastic box. (Are you seeing a theme here? Adoption, Continuum Concept, Attachment Parenting, isolation in NICU?) It was a profoundly healing experience for me. It was as if, by being there for my daughter, I was able to heal some of the wounding I experienced being left alone for the first six-days of my life.

And here’s a bonus one since I couldn’t decide which one to cut out!

6. I spent most of my 8th grade year completely wasted. (I guess this means if I ever run for president I won’t be able to say “I didn’t inhale.”) It was the thing to do: at least it became the thing to do among the group of friends I had hung out with since first grade. One time I actually passed out and fell off the bench at our local Brigham’s ice cream shop. As you can imagine I didn’t do so great in school that year!

One day during the summer before 9th grade, I walked into my friend’s house and saw lines of cocaine on the table. A voice inside me – my guardian angel? – screamed at me to leave. I did leave and never hung out with those guys again. I’ve never smoked pot since then either.

I know it sounds pretty boring. It was for a while, but lately, I’ve found plenty of non-drug-induced ways of getting high!

So that’s it. Five Six things you previously didn’t but now do know about me. You can’t ask again, because there’s really nothing left. All my secrets are out. Well, most of them, anyway.

Thanks for asking Alexander. Now, I’m going to tag, my friend, Christine Sisk, David at the Glittering Muse, MsQ at Qmusings a relative newcomer to the blogosphere with some great writing and great ideas, Richard Lemmon at MindPlunge and another relative newcomer worth visiting, Andy over at Thoughtful Consideration.

You’re it!

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      7 Responses to “Tagged: Five Things You Don’t Know About Me”

      1. University Update on December 18th, 2006 11:11 am

        Tagged: Five Things You Don’t Know About Me…

      2. David on December 21st, 2006 2:06 pm

        Ed, these are pretty intense facts about you. Thanks for opneing up like that. Very cool that you found your biological parents.

        I think I’ll pass on the tag. I appreciate your thinking of me.


      3. Edward Mills on December 21st, 2006 4:42 pm

        Hi David

        Thanks for the comment. I’m bummed that you’re passing on the tag. But it’s all good. I’m still routing for you and 9rules!


      4. Ms. Q on December 21st, 2006 7:47 pm

        Ed – thanks for tagging me. I was dumbfounded to see my name after reading your entry the other day. I’ve been coming across these “5 Things” posts and had never thought I’d be writing one of them, especially with my 4-months-old first blog!

        I’m glad you included #6. Thanks for sharing this. Sometimes life makes it brilliantly obvious that you can respect and celebrate the life you are given by choosing to live it. Choosing. Or you can ignore life and let the lives of others drag you in their wake.

        I post 5 things about myself. I hope I did you proud!

        I noticed that Andy has already been tagged:

      5. Sandy Murphey on October 6th, 2007 5:17 pm

        My mother died last week, and I felt no grief. She left me and my 6 month old brother to escape an abusive husband. It was difficult during those years after she left, but it became my life’s mission to find her, if she was still alive. I did, when I was 23 and had 2 children of my own. I had no resentment; I only had one desire….to know her. My arms were open wide, and what followed was a tearful re-union, and much sharing. Then she left to return to her home in Louisiana. We continued to have a long distance relationship through letters and phone calls.

        I’m so grateful to have the joy of knowing her, and seeing how alike we were. She was wise and kind,
        and always supportive of whatever I was doing.

        When I read this post, I wondered how your re-union was with your mother. So much depends on what we bring to the re-union….our attitude, beliefs, and ability to forgive what might seem to many as a horrible thing to do.

        But we all are doing the best we can, and we cannot really know how much suffering a mother must bear when she chooses to give up her child to adoption or abandonment with an abusive father.

        Thank you so much for sharing this part of your life.

      6. Dallas Bienes Raices on November 15th, 2007 6:57 am

        Wow you are a very kind man…… I know the feeling atleast you know why she left . For my systers and my mom is been 29yrs we still don’t know why? is a long story I can wright a book about it. But I know is really hard.

      7. Edward Mills on November 16th, 2007 4:18 pm

        Thank you Dallas. It hasn’t always been easy. I was talking about it with some friends at lunch today and I realized it’s been 23 years since I met her. And there have definitely been some up and down times but overall it’s been an extremely positive and healing experience.

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