From Concept To Practice: The Law of Attraction In Relationships

If you haven’t already figured it out, relationships provide some of the most profound opportunities for applying the Law of Attraction. And while all relationships are good for this, intimate relationships are the best!

On Saturday, my wife and I had an opportunity to experience this and take the Law of Attraction far beyond the conceptual stage and put it into practice.

Two hours into our lunchtime date, we found ourselves sitting on the front porch of my office in silence, each of us stewing in the stirred up murkiness of old emotional traumas that clouded our perceptions of the present moment. In our short time together we had each been through at least two cycles of getting triggered and slowly finding our way back to center from that triggered space.

Have you ever had a date – or a day – like that when all of your “stuff” seems to be right on the surface and as much as you want to stay positive and loving, you find yourselves spiraling down, resisting your connection with your partner (and ultimately with your own Source-connected self) putting up defenses and denying the love?

It’s not fun!

But it does provide an unsurpassed opportunity for stepping more fully into the world of deliberate creation.

So there we were, sitting in silence, staring across the street, waiting for something to shift.

In our relationship, when we are both in our “stuff,” we’re pretty good at taking turns coming out of it and creating a space for shift. In this case it was Melissa who shifted herself enough to begin creating the space for a shift in me and in our connection.

She started to speak. “You know I just heard something in a class I took this morning from this great Law of Attraction teacher.” (Earlier that morning Melissa had attended my regular, first-Saturday-of-the-month drop in Law of Attraction group). “This teacher said that in every moment we have three choices.”

I knew exactly where she was going and, even though I was still not looking at her, I could sense her somewhat mischievous grin as she went on.

“He said that, as Deliberate Creators, in each moment we can choose to feel worse and move further down the emotional/vibrational scale. We can choose to stay exactly where we are, maintain the status quo and, in essence, stagnate.”

That one hurt, since that was exactly what I was doing. I wasn’t moving up or down the emotional/vibrational scale. I was stuck. So I listened as Melissa continued.

“Or, this teacher said, we can choose to feel better, to move up the emotional scale, even if it’s just a little bit.”

So here I was being confronted with the very words I had used to describe the powerful process of Deliberate Creation just a few hours earlier.

Unbidden, the sarcastic saying I used to hear in high school came floating into my mind:

Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach. Those who can’t teach, teach gym.

Was it time for me to hang up my “Law of Attraction Trainer” credentials and find a job teaching gym?

Being a teacher is easy. It does not take much skill or even that much knowledge to stand in front of a room and provide them with some information.

It is far more difficult to be a great teacher. For the best teachings do much more than provide information. The greatest teachers inspire people to live into a bigger version of their lives.

To be such a teacher requires you to live your life in alignment with the words that you are speaking. The best teachers always “walk their talk.” They teach from their lives knowing that they may stumble and even fall along the way.

This type of teaching is not always easy. (Believe me!) And yet my intention is to be a great teacher of the Law of Attraction. So the way that I choose to teach this work is to live it and to accept that the times when I stumble and fall are opportunities to translate my understanding of the concepts into practice. I choose to have my life be an uncompromising example of the Law of Attraction in Action.

Do I always get it “right?” Of course not. Which is good. Because there is no “right.” Every experience is an opportunity to understand the Law of Attraction more deeply.

So on Saturday morning, having my stuckness and stagnation pointed out to me was a good thing – even though it didn’t feel too great in that moment. I got to observe it, feel it, and experience it. I was provided with the opportunity to know that I was choosing to be stuck. I was creating that experience. No one else was creating that experience of stuckness for me. Melissa wasn’t doing it. My parents weren’t doing it. None of my past girlfriends were doing it. I was doing it all myself!

And, in that moment, I got to choose whether or not I wanted to remain in that stuck, stagnant place.

I turned to Melissa, and even though, in my mind, I was still not convinced which way I was going to go, that turn towards her was movement. Choosing to look at her was a small, but significant movement up the scale.

And when I saw the look on her face, a look of childlike playfulness that said, “come on, get over it so that we can go play and have fun,” I felt myself opening. I felt myself moving further up the emotional/vibrational scale and allowing my connection with Melissa and my connection with Source to blossom once more. And I found myself awakening, once again to the possibility of playing and having fun on the rest of our date!

And so we did!

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      18 Responses to “From Concept To Practice: The Law of Attraction In Relationships”

      1. Pamm on May 7th, 2007 11:09 am

        Thanks for this beautiful example of the process of choosing to open to the potential of a shift rather than pretending and pushing real feelings down.

      2. Evolving Times » Law Of Attraction Carnival #18 - Relationships And The Law of Attraction on May 8th, 2007 2:50 pm

        […] The connections we have with other people provide seemingly infinite opportunities to become aware of and transform many of our limiting beliefs. If you have any doubt about the power of relationships to awaken us to our limiting beliefs, you need only think back to the last time a seemingly innocuous comment by your partner sent you spinning down into old thoughts, feelings, and vibrational offerings. For me, it was just a few days ago! […]

      3. may on May 8th, 2007 8:49 am

        Thanks for sharing.
        It’s great to be aligned and attract positivity.

      4. Edward Mills on May 8th, 2007 9:00 am

        Hi Pamm and May. Thanks for your comments. This is an amazing process and while it’s not always comfortable it is surely expansive!

      5. Aaron M. Potts on May 9th, 2007 7:29 pm


        Being married myself to someone who knows almost everything that I know about the LOA, I have been with you on that Saturday morning! And, I have experienced a very similar resolution – moving one step at a time up the emotional scale.

        The beauty of it is that once you take that first step, next thing you know, the flood gates are open, and all is well!

        As Abraham-Hicks says – its all about how much energy we are allowing to flow, or how much we are pinching it off.

        Great post, Edward – a real “in the trenches” look at how the process can be applied to our lives.

      6. Edward Mills on May 9th, 2007 9:57 pm

        Thanks Aaron

        One of the great things that I’m finding as I move deeper into the space of deliberate creation is how obvious it becomes when I am pinching off the flow of energy. I may not always be in a state where I can immediately turn the flow back on, but I am at the point where I almost always know pretty darn quickly when I’ve pinched myself off from Source.

        And that’s a good thing!

      7. Aaron M. Potts on May 10th, 2007 3:04 am


        You got that right! It makes it a lot easier to get back on track whenever you know how to realize very quickly that you’ve gone OFF track! 🙂

      8. Khoon on May 10th, 2007 11:34 am

        Thanks for the sharing.

        Interesting mention of emotional/vibrational scale. So I am consciously moving up the scale.

      9. Edward Mills on May 10th, 2007 5:19 pm

        Aaron: Yup, it’s true that it’s easier to get back on track…Although sometimes it’s not! 😉 What I’m getting is that if I can stay in a place of gratitude and acceptance around the fact that I’m AWARE of being pinched off, it makes the transition back to alignment much easier. If, on the other hand, I get down on myself and say things like “Come Ed, you can do better than this… blah blah blah,” then it takes much longer to get back into the flow.

      10. Edward Mills on May 10th, 2007 5:19 pm

        Khoon: If you’re reading this, you’re definitely moving up the scale!

      11. on May 31st, 2007 5:42 pm

        From Concept To Practice: The Law Of Attraction In Relationships…

        A sweet example of how to use Law Of Attraction in relationship….

      12. Hazel on July 12th, 2007 11:15 am

        Interesting to use the concept of Law Of Attraction to your relationship. Wow. imagine how many more relationships will be strengthed using this stuff.

      13. Edward Mills on July 12th, 2007 1:51 pm

        Hazel: Personally, I find that the relationship part of my life is probably the most challenging and enlightening are for applying the Law of Attraction!

      14. Evolving Times » Law of Attraction Emotional Scale Redefined - With Help From Marshall Rosenberg on August 22nd, 2007 9:32 am

        […] of the teaching and writing defines the emotional scale in terms of “good” and “bad” feelings, “positive” and “negative” feelings, “high […]

      15. Ken Daniels on August 28th, 2007 11:17 pm

        I liked the whole concept we can choose to feel worse than we do or stay in the emotional dumper or slide up the emotional scale to being in a positive happier place

      16. Sandy Murphey on September 9th, 2007 8:08 pm

        It certainly points to the difference between “knowing” LOA and “practicing” it. It’s the greatest tool I’ve discovered, and having that in my treasure chest makes all the difference.

        I’m so glad that Ed has chosen to facilitate the sharing of such valuable information. It can make such a difference in your relationships when you’re playing by the same guidelines.

        Thanks again Ed, for being so transparent!

      17. Patricia on February 23rd, 2008 9:53 am

        Hi, Ed.

        I always find it very inspiring when someone teaching something exposes his/her own moments of learning and growth. It’s always easier said than done, but with each lesson learned we expand our core understanding of how all of this works, sometimes in such subtle ways that if you fail to pay attention to that one moment in time when a shift occurs and the lesson is there, you miss it. The reason I’m bringing this up is because you mentioned that looking at her was “a small, but significant movement up the scale”, but most importantly, you recognized it as such – and even more importantly, shared this with others.

        For me, I feel like looking at the situation through a different lens or smiling is very powerful. Sometimes when we’re too far away vibrationally from being able to do that, then you’re absolutely right, whatever action, no matter how small, you can take in the right direction, counts. In this particular situation, I think the next step for me would be to smile. Smiling is one of the most powerful things we can do, even when we don’t really feel like it.

        Thanks for sharing.

      18. Mark Preston on December 22nd, 2008 8:37 pm


        This article has been a real eye-opener for me. It’s made me think on another level, and I want to share these techniques with my Fiance.

        We’ve gone through a rocky time where we were totally disconnected to each other and now we’ve come to really enjoy the strength of opening up our minds and feelings to each other. It really brings the relationship to another level.

        Thanks, again.

        Mark Preston

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