Knowing You’ve Created A Negative Situation Makes It Less Frustrating

Ok, maybe it makes it a bit less frustrating. But not much!

I get triggered when my wife goes away. I acknowledge it. I’m working on it. I’m better than I was. And I’m certainly better than when I wasn’t aware of what was going on when she went away. That was no fun at all! But even now I still get grumpy, frustrated, and sometimes downright irritated when she goes away on a business trip.

I’m not going to get into the whys and wherefores now. Suffice it to say that when you start with a healthy dose of adoption abandonment issues, add a pinch of “father’s are the breadwinners, mothers are the caretakers” childhood role modeling, and throw in a dash of professional jealousy (in this particular case) you’ve got a recipe for frustration when mama goes bye-bye!

My wife just returned from the Institute of Noetic Studies Shift in Action Conference in Palm Springs were she was networking, learning and promoting her program in Consciousness, Healing and Ecology at New College of California.

Overall, the time that she was gone went quite well. I really had a great time with my daughter: She cheered me on to my third consecutive year as the apple juggling champion at the Gravenstein Apple Fair, we danced at our local Thursday evening on the plaza concert, and went for a couple of hikes and munched on several tons of “the best ever” blackberries. And I didn’t stress – too much – about the time away from the office necessitated by the 6-days of single-dad-hood.

But throughout these 6-days I could feel the simmering frustration below the surface and I knew I was creating something I wasn’t going to like. And today I got it.

Our Monday childcare person called in sick at 9:00. She was supposed to be here at 9:30. That left me scrambling to find someone to fill in. No luck. Of course I could have predicted that result even before I began my search based on my vibration which, I can assure you, was not very high!

When people ask me “Why isn’t the Law of Attraction working for me?” I’ll often ask them, “Are you aware of everything that is going into your vibrational mix?”

While their answer is often, “Yes, I think so,” the reality, for most of us is a big fat NOPE.

There is so much going on under the surface of our conscious awareness but all of it goes into our vibrational mix. And that vibrational mix, all of it, determines what we attract into our life.

It’s taken me a long time to get to the place where I’m aware of the frustration and irritation that enters my vibrational offering when Melissa goes away. And, while I’ve been aware of it for some time now, I still have not gotten to the place where I can always shift out of it.

It’s there, I recognize it, but I don’t quite have the ability to change it. But, awareness is the first step to change, and I’m confident that this awareness will lead to a shift. So for now, I’m grateful to be aware of the frustration, as well as the underlying cause of it.

There is one definite advantage to being aware of the underlying stuff, even if you can’t change it. It makes it slightly less frustrating when you find yourself in the midst of some unwanted situation that you have created.

Looking back on Sunday evening, I could have predicted that Angie was not going to show up on Monday. We chatted while she was out for dinner with her boyfriend. I could tell she was not excited about the early Monday morning shift. (She’s definitely not a morning person. The afternoon shift, when Ella was in pre-school, was great. But for the summer we’ve got her doing a full day on Mondays and she’s been a bit flaky). So I became frustrated by her “attitude” and got off the phone with a clear intention to find someone else to watch Ella on Mondays. This morning, the Universe put an exclamation point on my intention!

So, knowing that my vibrational offering created the situation makes it slightly less frustrating. (Slightly!) After all, I got this entry out of it.

Now it’s your turn. When have you caught yourself attracting an unwanted situation? Was the situation any less frustrating because you knew you had created it? Share your story below in the comments.

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      12 Responses to “Knowing You’ve Created A Negative Situation Makes It Less Frustrating”

      1. Jordan E. Rosenfeld on August 13th, 2007 6:59 pm

        My favorite “I attracted this” scenario comes from before I knew about the law of attraction by name, though I understood the principle intuitively. I had to return a DVD to a client I had interviewed for an article. I had judgments about him to begin with, and second, I had bailed out of an appt. to meet him when I could have simply handed the DVD back to him. So instead, I asked for his mailing address. Well I kept putting that off too, justifying this attitude because he had been sort of arrogant with me until he pressured me for it, and by then, it was so long overdue I decided it was faster for me to drive across town to deliver it. In my mind, I’d made this all about him, that if he hadn’t been such a jerk, I would have returned his DVD on time (talk about arrogance!). On my way there, in a hurry and ticked off, I got a very expensive ticket for making an illegal u-turn. I almost laughed because I knew it was of my own making.

      2. Raymond on August 14th, 2007 3:25 am

        It takes some time for me to create the awareness. Thankfully I am very aware of my thought now.

        Negative thoughts still pops out from my mind once a while but the awareness helps me to counter and remedy them IMMEDIATELY.

      3. Andrea Hess on August 14th, 2007 5:08 am

        Love this post – for a long time, I was banging my head against a wall, trying to figure out how I had attracted a ridiculously disturbing situation with my neighbor’s relentlessly barking dog. Eventually, I was able to shift out of it. Surprise, surprise – my neighbor moved. Love how that works!


      4. Barb on August 14th, 2007 2:40 pm

        Nope, it’s not really ever any less frustrating, lol! In fact, sometimes it makes it more frustrating. But then I usually remember to think a better feeling thought, even if it’s completely unrelated to the situation, so it is helpful.

      5. Edward Mills on August 14th, 2007 8:44 pm

        Hi Jordan. I think that moving violations and parking tickets are probably two of the best ways to get feedback that our vibration is a bit off. I’ve had some very similar situations. If I have a chance I’ll write something about them in a future post.

      6. Edward Mills on August 14th, 2007 8:47 pm

        Raymond, congratulations on coming into your awareness. It does take time. It’s taken me years!

        Andrea, I love those kinds of stories. It’s truly amazing and validating how things shift so quickly when we shift our vibration.

      7. Edward Mills on August 14th, 2007 8:50 pm

        Barb. I hear you. I guess it makes it frustrating in a different way. For me, it’s gotten to the point where I often just have to laugh when I’m observing myself continuing to think, feel and vibrate negatively. Not always, sometimes it still feels like crap! But at least it feels like something!

      8. Larry Christopher on August 15th, 2007 5:25 pm

        “There is one definite advantage to being aware of the underlying stuff, even if you can’t change it. It makes it slightly less frustrating when you find yourself in the midst of some unwanted situation that you have created.”

        I agree with Barb – maybe the frustration isn’t lessened with knowledge/awareness but I’d also like to think that we humans are smart enough to learn from our behavior – even if it takes a few whacks on the head to get it right 🙂

        Enjoyed my visit!

      9. Steve on August 15th, 2007 11:50 am

        Hi Edward,

        I’ve gotten into this bad habit. If I’m feeling really crappy then I’ll get a Corona from the fridge instead of looking at my emotions. That worked for a little while but then I ran out of Corona’s; which meant I had to do something about that was going to last longer than a bottle of beer.

        Nowadays, I put a little more conscious effort into my emotions as they start to rumble a bit to catch them before the big storm comes. I usually reframe the experience with a change of internal pictures and encouraging words to do the trick. . .


        Stephen Martile
        Personal Development with NLP

      10. Edward Mills on August 15th, 2007 9:00 pm

        Steve. I’m glad that you chose not to go out and buy another six-pack when you ran out! That’s a good start. One thing to consider, instead of rushing to change the emotion, is to give yourself the opportunity to be with them, whatever they are, good, bad or even ugly. Sometimes, just having the permission to let the emotions come up allows them to move through you making it much easier to shift into a more positive emotional experience.

      11. Edward Mills on August 15th, 2007 9:01 pm

        Larry. Those whacks are almost always needed, at least in my case. They sure don’t feel good but they seem to do the trick, eventually!

      12. Adam Kayce : Monk At Work on August 16th, 2007 6:03 am

        This is my favorite part:
        “’Are you aware of everything that is going into your vibrational mix?’

        While their answer is often, ‘Yes, I think so,’ the reality, for most of us is a big fat NOPE.”

        I think that’s important to remember — because I see a lot of people getting into the Attraction lifestyle, often with an attitude of, “good, now I can control everything!” Wrong!

        There’s so much that goes into (and comes out of) each and every one of us… to think that we can be 100% aware of 100% of all that’s inside us 100% of the time… is 100% crazy.

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